Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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