I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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