She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
My vagina is very pro this idea
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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