you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
