her vagine was all disorganized.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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