He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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