i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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