I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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