I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
