i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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