If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
