You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
