Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
