its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
