So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
high people should be assigned attendants
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
