That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
