how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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