So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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