Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
