I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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