Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
