dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
