we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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