gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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