I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
