u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
