It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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