He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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