shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
what day is it and did you see me today?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
