Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
