wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
whose ass print is on the piano?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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