So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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