If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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