How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I need to align my fucking chakras
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
