i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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