You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
