____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No subtext here. People are naked.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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