Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
