I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
