i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
