Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
