M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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