my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
