dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Are my feet made of real feet?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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