Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
