It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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