does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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