yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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