dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
