Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
