There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
